Inspiring you to be more grateful each day

Hope you had a beautiful Valentine’s and Chinese New Year celebration last week.

Let’s dive right into our Story, Highlight, and call to Action for the week 🙂

STORY

Yesterday, I was driving to the bank when I heard a loud bump at the rear of my car.

It turned out a motorcycle Angkas driver had bumped into my car.

I pulled my car to the side and put it on hazard to check the damage.

Mixed emotions overwhelmed me. I was running late for my appointment, and I knew I would be considerate to the Angkas driver and wouldn’t let her pay for the damage, if any.

I had always been very careful with my car. It was brand new when I bought it, and I had been driving it for just over a year.

When I got out, ouch! There was a dent. It was tiny but visible. Part of her motorcycle’s blue color had already transferred to my white car.

That “dent” was the first dent on my car.

I asked to see her driver’s license and contact number, which she provided.

The Angkas driver kept saying,

“What will you do? There’s no dent. It’s nothing.”

More than the dent, her comment irritated me.

I told her,

“I was just waiting for you to say ‘sorry.’ I can be forgiving and understanding.”

She got defensive and said, “I will say sorry, but there’s no dent. It’s nothing. What will you do?”

I had no energy to continue the discussion with her, so I just took a picture of her driver’s license and got her number.

I said, “I’ll just message you if ever.”

I can sense the driver was afraid I would ask her to pay for the damage. Her fears were valid.

My feelings of frustration over the dent were also valid, and I felt like she invalidated my feelings with her comments.

I’m sharing this story because sometimes, we are like the Angkas driver.

When we’re afraid, instead of being vulnerable and owning up to our mistakes, we become defensive and unconsciously invalidate other people’s feelings.

This is why psychological safety is very important when it comes to our relationships and in the workplace.

Psychological safety starts with ourselves.

When we learn to hold space within ourselves to accept who we are—the good parts, the not-so-good parts, our mistakes, and our shadows—we can also learn to accept others as they are.

Similarly, when we learn to hold space within ourselves to feel all our emotions—the good, the painful, and the uncomfortable—we also learn to hold space for others to feel their emotions, instead of trying to invalidate or change them.

HIGHLIGHT (Lesson)

Accepting ourselves as we are enables us to accept others as they are; creating space for our emotions allows us to offer space for others to feel theirs.

Call to ACTION

What could be the times when fear overtook us, and instead of allowing ourselves to process those emotions safely, we ended up projecting our fears onto others, thereby dismissing their feelings?

In a personal relationship, imagine you’ve planned a special evening with your spouse, but your spouse arrives home late and seems preoccupied. Fear might lead you to think he doesn’t value your time or efforts. Instead of addressing your feelings of hurt or disappointment directly, you might withdraw emotionally or start an unrelated argument, projecting your fear of being undervalued and inadvertently invalidating his possible reasons for being late or distracted. This reaction can create a cycle of misunderstanding and hurt feelings, rather than fostering open communication and understanding.

In the workplace, if your team member makes a mistake that causes a client to become irate and there’s no psychological safety within your team, your team member will become defensive and do everything possible to cover up the mistake. If there is psychological safety, your team member will share what happened with their leader so they can assess the situation together and come up with a solution. (If this is a concern in your organization and you wish to build a culture with a high level of psychological safety, simply reply to this email so we can discuss how we might address this.)

It’s okay to feel our fears and to experience all our emotions without the immediate need to change them. By allowing ourselves this space, we also create room for others to feel their emotions, instead of dismissing them.


I wish you fearless possibilities! 🙂

Sha Nacino

Motivational & TEDx Speaker l Author l Adjunct Faculty, Asian Institute of Management

P.S.1 Planning your annual event or kickoff? Let me help turn it up a notch as your motivational speaker. Together, we’ll craft a one-of-a-kind experience that will leave your team feeling supercharged, inspired, and unstoppable. They’ll be thanking you for the boost, ready to tackle their goals with newfound zeal! Visit https://shanacino.com/ or simply reply to this email.

P.S. 2. Are you an HR professional or a corporate leader? Subscribe to the Inspiring Fearless Possibilities, a weekly newsletter on employee engagement and workplace excellence. It’s free! Just go to https://shanacino.com/fearless

P.S.3 Good news! To help ignite possibilities and enthusiasm in individuals and teams, I’m hosting two online training/workshops in February 2024! This will be LIVE, online via Zoom.


Purpose Meets Performance: Aligning Your True Calling with Your Career

Feb 21, 2024 (Wed) at 7PM – 8:30PM via Zoom

Speak Up with Confidence: Elevating Your Voice in the Workplace

Feb 28, 2024 (Wed) at 7PM – 8:30PM via Zoom

To register, simply go to https://shanacino.com/talks

Sha Nacino

Sha Nacino is a motivational speaker, author of 15 books, and adjunct faculty at the Asian Institute of Management. She is on a mission to inspire fearless possibilities by helping leaders and companies build a culture where everyone feels safe, seen, and appreciated.

Sha finished her B.S. in Business Economics from the University of the Philippines - Diliman and holds a Certificate in Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania.

She was awarded the Female Entrepreneur of the Year 2019 by the United Nations Global Entrepreneur Council and Inspiring Humanitarian Award by the World Humanitarian Drive.

Here are three ways Sha can be of service to you:
1. Connect with her on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/sha-nacino/
2. Join Sha’s “Motivational Speaker’s Insights” email newsletter and download her eBook with a blurb by Brian Tracy here: https://shanacino.com/dreams
3. If you're looking for a speaker for your next event or conference, visit https://shanacino.com/ or email us at info@shanacino.com

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